My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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