why didn't you poke me back
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Come share oat with me in your robe
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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