Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
