thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
