Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
