remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
