I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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