Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dignity is for republicans.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
