The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
