I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
