My balls are so social today.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He did a backflip because drugs
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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