You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
