whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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