I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
