Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
