All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
