I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
