Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
