I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
