It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
