She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
