Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
