youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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