all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
