I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
