i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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