I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
