nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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