I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
