So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
