That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
