and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
