I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
