I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
