She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
