hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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