if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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