Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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