Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
