I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
