Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
