And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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