He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
