I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
