Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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