I will die if light touches me.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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