Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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