happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
