There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm always down for nudity.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
