My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The beer is more important than you right now.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
